I should preface this whole thing, especially since it's my first time writing in a long time to say that my son is 18 months old. At about 16 months old his dad decided to move out of the house that we shared and move in directly across the street with another woman. Needless to say that this has not helped with any kind of process of "getting over him" as I would expect to normally be going through. To top that off, I have felt a lot like a single parents for most of my son's life. You know those parents who choose when they want to be parents, or are parents because it's convenient for them, or like to claim to be parents just because half of their DNA made the child . . . Ya that's his dad. To say I never loved the man would be a lie, but to say I don't feel like an idiot for still loving him would be the truth. I decided to write as a way of helping me process through everything, tell funny stories about my son, and maybe see if some of my adventures on this new path in life can help anyone else who may be in a similar place.
So to say that I'm not still slightly nuerotic about everything with his dad may be a lie. I mean it's MUCH harder to get over someone when you have a child with them, even harder still when you have to see them in their new "relationship" everyday, and EVEN HARDER when you know that he spends more time with his new girlfriends daughter then he does with his own child. I'm still pretty crazy feeling all the time. Add on top of that two jobs and full time parenting, it's enough to make anyone person go completely insane. Not to mention that I don't have any family or friends in this god forsaken town. All my friends moved after we graduated from college and stayed here for my boyfriend/son's father. Now I'm trapped. So lack of friends + to much work = no play for this single momma. Which led me to my first thought for today - how the hell do all these "single moms" have so much time to have a social life?
I mean honestly. I look at all these friends I have on facebook (you know that evil thing created by those guys at Harvard designed to destroy people's lives). There are quite a few single moms on there. Yet every weekend they are going to the club/bar/dinner/movies/anywhere that does not involve their VERY young children. I could understand this if it was every so often, but sometimes it's two-three times in one weekend. They also have their kids in daycare all week and are sometimes going out on week nights too. I'll admit, most of my ranting about this comes out of shear jealousy, but seriously who is really watching your kids if your so busy getting drunk and/or finding the next guy to make a baby daddy? And this is not just targeted at single moms. If you CREATE a baby, you should probably stay home with them a few weekends here and there. Your parents already raised their children. I'm not against grandparents getting the kids occasionally, but honestly, it's not their responsibility to parent anymore.
On a personal note, if your going out with your "man"/little boy (because honestly that's what he is) every weekend while his son sits across the street and you never see him walk across to take him for longer then two hours a week, maybe you should start questioning why you decided to move him in with your 9 month old and go out and get drunk with him every weekend . . . .
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